It’s the time of year again when my timelines on Twitter, Facebook and other various public forums are saturated in Valentine’s Day e-cards, posts, and jokes (some funny, some sarcastic). Most of these posts are entertaining and bring a smile to my face, but there are some I’ve read that really have me concerned. I have friends that are in relationships and others who are not. Some people I know are genuinely sad about not being able to spend this “holiday” with someone. I am generally empathetic and sympathetic when people I care about are sad about X situation, but Vday is one of the few times out of the year that I express some tough love.
YOU WILL BE FINE. Why allow the poison of “all I see is happiness around me and because I don’t have that happiness, I will be bitter and jaded” into your heart? I write this as a friend because I do care about your sadness, and I know how you feel. But trust me, if you don’t love yourself, you will still be miserable on this holiday even if you are with someone. So what if you don’t have someone that will give you flowers or chocolates or a signed card? You know what? TREAT YOURSELF THEN. Go out and get what you want. When was the last time you spoiled yourself? You may have been paying attention to everyone else but you, so curb that behavior and take care of yourself.
When your confidence in yourself builds up, others will take notice. It makes you more attractive, more approachable, and better yet, you feel good about being you. It’s not a bad thing to place your happiness in someone else’s hands every so often, but only you can make yourself truly happy. Once you have yourself figured out, everything else falls into place. Please do not use this holiday as a reason to settle for someone that is not compatible for you. I do not ever want you to think “I don’t want to be alone on this day, so this person will do.” Get over that because YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, and that person deserves better too. If you truly want to date someone, both of you deserve 100%. Anything less, and you will fail.
Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a standard you hold for your potential partner either. Yes, it’s nice to have the candy, the nice dinner, the… whatever these romantic couples do nowadays (I’m so out of the loop)… but it’s how your partner treats you the rest of the year that matters more. Your partner should love you, respect you and make you feel good about yourself every day. Find someone that makes you want to be a better person, someone that challenges you, someone that can make you smile over the phone. THAT kind of bond is worth more than all the candied hearts and teddy bears in the world. When you focus on that (if you are indeed searching for a partner) then Valentine’s Day is just another day on the calendar.
To those who are spending the day with a special someone, I wish you long lasting happiness! To those who are not, one day you will look back on your past self and think “why did I ever feel this way? I’m totally awesome now!” and I wish you more days of feelings such a way.
So happy red corporate leeching love day, and here’s a bunch of virtual hugs for all of my internet friends.
LOVE THYSELF, YOU SEXY BEASTS, YOU.