I debated whether or not to post fanfiction I’ve written up here, and I eventually landed on the “what the heck, why not?” decision. I wrote this for my friend “Sunrise” about two Christmases ago, and I realized I never posted it up anywhere. She requested a Dragon Age 2 fic with a Fenris x FHawke (Mage) pairing. This is what I came up with.
Fenris made short work of the straw target in front of him. With one swing of his broadsword, the target was demolished and only splintered wood and debris lay at his feet. He had been practicing for the last three hours or so completely oblivious that night had set upon Kirkwall and the moon was his only source of light. He was quite grateful that he had the abandoned mansion all to himself. He could destroy everything in his path and not a soul would disturb him.
His brow furrowed slightly when he saw the blue lyrium markings on his arm glow brightly. His blood tingled and his heartbeat sped up. He didn’t understand what caused these outbursts, but they came and went so quickly that he chose to ignore them when they happened. Tonight however, the markings were particularly annoying. “Damn you, Danarius,” Fenris gritted through his teeth
Hightown had settled into its nightly routine, and Fenris felt like venturing out into the city. Thanks to Aveline, his presence wasn’t known, but he still needed to be discreet when he left the privacy of his temporary home. He easily stayed hidden in the shadows, avoiding guards and nosy merchants that were closing shop.
His eyes scanned over the horizon of Kirkwall and he let his mind slip into the very few memories he had of the city. It was at the alienage where he first met Hawke and her very odd followers. His blood boiled when he realized she was a mage, but even he could not deny that her heart was true and pure. He had to admit that she was one of the first mages he met that made him believe magic was not pure evil.
Another memory cut into his mind. They were all at the Hanged Man, and they were actually enjoying themselves. It was the first night where they were free to be themselves and not worry about blood mages or slave traders. It was the first time he had a conversation with Hawke that had nothing to do with his past.
The first thing he remembered was smelling the alcohol on her breath. He had never seen her so relaxed and … happy. “Has no one ever told you that your eyes are beautiful?” she asked, directly looking in his eyes. He welcomed her company and conversation, but she had never so physically close to him before now.
“It has never been brought up,” he admitted, slowly leaning back, trying to anticipate her intention
She lazily leaned on her right arm attempting to keep herself from falling from the table. The music was light and cheerful, and Isabela was doing her best to rile up the others in dance and song. He and Hawke remained. Movement from Hawke’s hands caught his attention and he stilled when her fingers wrapped around the metallic guards around his own. “Well they are, and you shouldn’t be so quick to hide them.”
Fenris decided that Hawke was a very puzzling woman, but all women were to him. It wasn’t until he met Hawke and Isabela that he believed his appearance held any value to a woman’s taste. He had been at the mercy of Hadriana and she was no woman; she was a monster. Hawke gently squeezed his hands and she smiled at him. Fenris never thought he would feel such affection from a mage, but he did and he could not say he did not like it. “I will do my best to hold my head high,” he said returning the smile, “at least around you.”
“I’d like that,” she responded.
The memory faded and Fenris continued on his walk. The air was crisp but not fresh. Kirkwall was corrupt no matter which part of the city one resided. A faint bark rooted him momentarily. It sounded like Hawke’s Mabari. Fenris didn’t care for the hound, but he was at least accustomed to the different sounds the hound made and what he heard caused alarm.
Discretion be damned, Fenris broke out into a sprint heading straight for the Hawke family estate. The closer he came to the main entrance of Hawke’s home, the more troubled he felt. The Mabari was now wailing. Fenris saw the large wooden door that served as the entrance to the estate was destroyed. He ran faster, relying on his ears to pick up any sign of Hawke and her Mabari.
The inside of the estate was a mess but he did not see any blood. His hurried steps lead him to the courtyard. No torches were lit, but he could easily see light and fire spells being cast and hurled into unknown trespassers. To his horror, he saw Hawke barely holding herself up. She was on the ground, using one arm to summon spells while the other clutched her abdomen. Three men descended upon her, but Fenris swore they would not touch her.
“Fenris!” he heard Hawke’s desperate cry. His heart sank when he heard how tired and weak she was. His only thought was for her safety. Hawke’s attackers didn’t even have a chance to see who it was that would end their lives. He took them down without mercy. Fenris could feel the heart of the third man give out in his grasp and seconds later the courtyard became calm once more.
That is until Hawke’s Mabari whined helplessly. Fenris found the Mabari lying next to Hawke. She was almost motionless save for the unstable rise and fall of her chest. He hurried to her side as panic seized his body. “Hawke…” he said in worry.
She was gasping for air trying to sit up. He wrapped his arms around her careful to avoid any contact with the wounds that covered her stomach. “I’ll take you to Anders,” he said, but she stopped him. She clutched her stomach and he could see faint blue light illuminating under her palms. She was attempting to heal herself.
“Help me,” she pleaded in a heavy breath.
“I can’t,” he admitted in defeat. He was no mage and she knew that. He had nothing with him to help stop her bleeding. All he could do was watch and that tore at his heart.
“Lend me your hand,” she gasped. Her head was now resting against his chest and every shiver that shot through her body he could feel against his own. He complied without a second thought. Her slippery fingers, wet by her own blood, wrapped around his and he felt an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach.
It was very similar to the feeling he experienced when called upon the power of the lyrium in his veins. It was powerful and it spread throughout his body evenly before focusing into one single point. He felt that sensation leave his body, exiting through his hands. If he had not been present to witness the exchange of power, he would not have believed it. All the energy he had felt a moment ago had transferred to Hawke and her wounds were mending right before his eyes.
She let out a small cry of pain and he instinctively hugged her tighter wanting to ease whatever discomfort had plagued her. Her brow was covered in sweat and her eyes were shut tightly closed. He could only assume that it was a tiring ordeal trying to heal oneself, but when the host’s body was so heavily damaged to begin with, he wouldn’t be surprised if she passed out in his arms
Hawke let out one final gasp before the blue light vanished. She relaxed in his arms and slumped against him completely. “Are you all right, Hawke?” he asked when her breathing had become stable.
She swallowed hard and barely managed to answer him. “Yes… ambushed… never saw… thank you… here…”
He ran his fingers through her matted hair and gently cupped the side of her face. “No need to exert yourself. You’re safe now. And I’ll make sure you will be for the rest of the night.”
He carefully picked her up and carried her back into the estate. The Mabari followed close behind them, its tail wagging wildly left to right, obviously happy that his master was safe and alive. When they reached Hawke’s room, Fenris gave a curt nod to the hound. “No one gets in, understood?”
“Good boy,” Fenris said in approval. The Mabari sat right next to Hawke’s door at complete attention.
Fenris realized that Hawke had fallen asleep in his arms and he took the opportunity to observe her a bit more closely. He had said once before that she was a beautiful woman, but he had no idea when she had transformed from beautiful to goddess like. He gently set her down on her bed, but he stayed close to her. With minimal movement, he found a comfortable position sitting next to her.
Perhaps when he was able to let go of the fact that Hawke was a mage that was moment he could see her for the woman she was. He was guarded when they first met and even when she visited him weekly. He half expected her to undergo some traumatic event and resort to blood magic like so many of her kind. But the life altering changes came and she stood strong. She lost her brother and sister though thanks to Anders, it was possible that Hawke would meet her brother again one day. Hawke’s mother was murdered by a blood mage no less, but Hawke remained true to herself.
He reached out again and stroked her hair, memorizing how the auburn strands rested against her cheek and shoulder. He contemplated the utter fear he felt when he saw her unmoving body on the ground. Where had that panic come from? What was it that terrified him?
He would miss her.
Simple as that. He had grown accustomed to her visits, her conversation, her companionship. She was the only one of their group that seemed to truly care for his wellbeing. When he and Anders were at each other’s throats, she always took the side that was most logical and reasonable at the time. She didn’t see their arguments as mage versus slave. She saw them as friends fighting against one another. Maker, she didn’t even care that he was an elf. Hawke was the most unusual woman he had ever met. Maybe that’s how she stole his heart without him knowing.
Since he could remember, she was the only person alive that treated him as an equal. There were times when she regarded his life a higher priority than her own. Such a foolish notion, and he did not know how to react to that treatment.
‘You’re important to me, Fenris,’ she had explained with a sweet smile. He couldn’t respond to her, but he knew full well his heart fluttered when he heard those words. ‘I know you don’t have memories of your past, but perhaps you can learn to cherish the ones you have now?’
Leaning down, he kissed her forehead feeling unbelievably grateful that she was in his life. He would have to be careful with his newfound feelings, but for a moment he had managed to let go of his hatred for his former master. It was liberating. “Sleep well, Hawke,” he whispered in her ear.
He stood and quietly left her room. The Mabari hound’s ears perked up and he jumped up from the floor. Fenris held a finger to his mouth and the Mabari quieted. “I’m going to clean up the mess in the courtyard,” he told the Mabari. “I trust you have everything under control here?”
The Mabari gave him a meek arf!
“It’s up to us now to protect her, you know,” Fenris added. He smirked when the Mabari nudged his nose into Fenris’ palm. Had someone told him a year ago that he would have a full conversation with a Mabari hound, he would have called that person an idiot. Had someone told him that he would be falling in love with a mage, he may have killed that person outright. His life had taken such a wild turn and it was all because of one woman. He took one last look at Hawke’s sleeping form and decided, magic abilities be damned, she was worth leaving his past behind. Suddenly, the future didn’t seem so dark.